Thursday, August 11, 2011

Bottom Fives: Paul Giamatti Movies

Tyler at Southern Vision recently posted a list of Paul Giamatti's best characters and the response from everyone seemed to be that he had left out every other Paul Giamatti movie.

So I thought why not try to find the movies where he was merely OK or downright awful. Is it even possible? Surely it's going to be easier than picking a mere five great performances from somebody whose body of work is extremely impressive? If you want a damned fine actor who isn't very good looking in modern Hollywood you go for Pig Vomit or PSH let's face it.

1. Thunderpants


Starting at the bottom, literally. A movie about a farting superhero that not even kids laughed at.

2. Fred Claus

From the bottom to the top, of the world. I saw it at the cinema, unable to resist the pairing of Giamatti and Vaughn but laughs were very few and far between and Giamatti actually felt miscast, his performance was so unlikable. Sorry Tyler, I know it was one of your favourites.

3. Big Momma's House


Ouch, this movie stinks, but Giamatti at least made for an OK straight man to Lawrence's goofball and praise must go to his agent for getting him out of the sequels.

4. Paycheck


Yes, it was Ben Affleck's biggest paycheck, pun definitely intended, but wow it's a giant yawnfest and nothing makes any sense at all.

5. Lady in the Water



OK, so I admit, I haven't seen it. I am what you might call a detractor, or Shyamalamalamalam's biggest un-fan, that's not a word. He's a giant one trick pony. I have seen all of the others for my sins but not even my affection for Paul Giamatti could make me feel like watching this film. So right at the end you probably find out that the lady in the water isn't a storybook character and infact everyone in the movie is a storybook character in her world. That's a guess. If you've seen the movie, how accurate am I?

Too harsh? Did I miss something awful? Leave your ideas in the blahs.

22 comments:

  1. yep, crap lineup thats for sure

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  2. hey mack thanks for stopping by. i came to the conclusion that his choices are occasionally off. i think he clerly wants to be in less serious movies from time to time but his slapstick just doesn't work. he'd probably be great in a home alone remake as the daniel stern character perhaps.

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  3. I thought that the premise of Lady in the Water (the whole legend basis) was interesting academically, but the execution was, like 90% of Shyamalan's work, terrible. It and Paycheck are the only two of these films I've seen to date, and they were both pretty bad.

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  4. alan - i always like the premise of shyamalamalamlam's movies except i know they're going to be a let down. it was when i saw the village that i decided no more. it was just like a giant cinematic slap in the face to the audience.

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  5. I thought Fred Claus was an awful movie, but Giamatti had such a strange appeal. I have no real idea why. When I see more of his films I'll expand my list. This list is great, by the way, except for one thing: I did NOT need to know that Thunderpants existed.

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  6. tyler - haha i'm sorry, perhaps i only know it from living in england for so long? it co-stars rupert grint of "bloody hell harry" fame. that doesn't make it worth watching either.

    Giamatti really has been in a lot of movies, a lot fo really good movies too and been really really good in a lot of movies. did you see lady in the water? how does it end?

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  7. See I am the only person in the whole world that went to the cinema to watch LitW and actually enjoyed it!!

    I was scared and shocked and loved the story. I guess this is the point where i scratch my eyeballs out with a biro and vow never to watch a film again!!

    Nice list my friend

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  8. Custard will you share the ending of lady in the water with me as you've seen it?

    I bet you've seen thunderpants more times than you'd care to mention too!

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  9. I have not seen a single one of those movies.
    So you know they must be bad, because I used to have terrible taste in movies.
    Bottom-5 lists for the win!

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  10. Leah the fact that you haven't seen these movies could be used to prove that they're actually quite good!

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  11. The fact that a movie named Thunderpants exists is pretty awesome. This list seems pretty solid. Of course, he was also in the Tim Burton Planet of the Apes, which is pretty bad, but probably not worse than these.

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  12. hey dan i thought about planet of the apes but couldn't remember anything about it apart from how bad it was. i had no idea who giamatti was in it. but he was the orangutan right? it also seemed a little obvious with the current incarnation of the franchise getting such great reviews. so i went with a movie i hadnt even seen.

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  13. /thunderpantsisanawesomefilm/

    what was that? who said that?

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  14. You have kids! Its slightly acceptable. :D

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  15. I haven't seen all of those movies, but I have seen Big Fat Liar and that would go in his Bottom 5 list if I ever made one. Funny post concept. Thanks.

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  16. chip - oh no! is that the movie he turns blue in? how could i forget that? thanks for coming over.

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  17. Paul Giamatti is one of the my favorite actors. I even like the epically small role he had in "The Truman Show". He's been picking good films lately though and I try to catch most of his.

    I don't believe I've seen any of the movies listed here besides twister and I saw it so long ago I couldn't even tell you who was in that movie. Anyways, fun post!

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  18. hey max - thanks for the praise. although twister wasnt mentioned in this post! i do love both giamatti and hoffman though, both generally choose great roles.

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  19. Oops! Goes to show I read the Hoffman post too though. I've never seen any of these five films, although my GF bought Lady in the Water and has never watched it. It sits in our collection like a super nova of awfulness.

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  20. max - i wish you had seen it, nobody can tell me if my guess at the ending is anywhere near accurate! did your GF buy it for you or for her? pretty terrible gift if it was for you :D

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  21. Martin Lawrence is a good comedian, Big Momma's House was great. With Lady in the Water, didn't like it.

    Sell WoW Account

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  22. brilliant. i really do love spam comments. but seriously are you a 13 year old boy? nobody likes martin lawrence, thats why he had to make yet another big mommas house movie.

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