Friday, November 8, 2013

Movie Diary #15: September 2013

Moving on to my very short September diary. This was the month I was supposed to be filming Good Times and the intense nature of attempting to salvage a floundering film is reflected in the very small number of films seen. Naturally it is considerably higher than if I had actually been in production!

31 films seen during September left me with a year to date of 637, with only 2 rewatches keeping my YTD total down to 78, perhaps that 10% target I was aiming for is still within reach? Of the 31 seen during the thirty days 14 were new release movies, bringing a year to date total of 98. And yet none of them were particularly good.

The most disappointing, and surprising, statistic from September is the 7 recommendations I have to offer you. All 7 are firmly in the giant waste of time category with nothing even close to being a masterpiece, so please continue to avoid them if you have managed to so far.


Love Crimes (1992) Dir. Lizzie Borden
Every negative thing said and written about this movie is accurate.
The Pleasure of Being Robbed (2008) Dir. Joshua Safdie
It's movies like this that give American indie cinema a bad name, these people are awful and nothing feels authentic, why don't we all just watch Silver Linings Playbook instead?
Kick-Ass 2 (2013) Dir.  Jeff Wadlow
So there's pretty much nothing good going for this movie, I can't imagine there's anyone who might take pleasure in such inane stupidity.
The Hangover Part III (2013) Dir. Todd Phillips
Potentially even worse than Die Hard 5. There isn't one single laugh in this supposed comedy.
After Earth (2013) Dir. M. Night Shyamalan
By far the worst Will Smith movie in existence at the time of writing. I'm quite saddened by this as that oeuvre includes Bad Boys 2. I'm a confessed fan of Smith and tried to avoid knowing anything about this film before watching it but the second Shyamalamalam's name got mentioned I knew to expect the worst. This however goes beyond the worst and for the most part the only blame that can be thrown at the directors feet was taking the paycheck proffered by Smith to put his name on it when apparently to all intents and purposes it was Smith in charge of this vanity project to make his son a star. I have no problem with that idea, I just have a problem that it's a deadly boring and unimaginative as this. That Jaiden is a pretty mediocre actor at best doesn't help matters either.
Diary of a Hitman (1991) Dir. Roy London
Whatever circumstances were behind the acting coach Roy London being left in charge of directing a multi-million dollar film are I'm sure the story might be one of the more interesting of relatively recent Hollywood history; there's bound to be hidden cameras and blackmail involved at some point. The fact that he was an acting coach is pretty ironic as every single actor involved in the production of this film puts in a horrifyingly awful performance.
Dead in Tombstone (2013) Dir. Roel Reiné
On their own the names Rourke, Trejo, Hall and Meyer are not enough to make me consider watching a straight to bargain bin movie but there's something about the combination of the four that made me think it might be worth while. Sadly that is not the case, the script is hopelessly bad, in particular the dialogue, and the direction is ham fisted at best. Don't be fooled in to thinking it's just a bit of fun, it's not, it's a waste of time. 
If I had to pick one film seen during Septemebr to recommend it would be the drug related social documentary Oxyana but it certainly wouldn't be for all.

Sorry I don't have anything positive to report from September but it was bad all round for me. Come discuss it with me on twitter why don't you?

1 comment:

  1. I didn't hate After Earth, but it certainly has its problems. Ugh, I want the Shyamalan of the early 2000's back.