Fast Five, is incredibly the fifth movie in franchise about illegal street racers and Justin Lin's third stint driving it. Bam, second car pun. There it's out of my system, I shall try to refrain from now on.
What happens? There's some not so bad guys, one of whom used to be a good guy played by Vin Diesel and Paul Walker being hunted by the good guy, The Rock himself, Mr Dwayne Johnson. In the middle of it is a Rio De Janeiro underworld kingpin taking the tag of actual bad guy, Joaquin de Almeida. The not so bad guys plan to rob the bad guy and outwit the good guy.
What you are treated to may as well be Gone In Sixty Seconds meets Oceans Eleven. It's that generic. There's cars, but no street racing, simply some nods to where the franchise has come from with some gratuitous car chases and an incredibly absurd final heist. There's a 9 man crew instead of 11 but it fits the bill nicely with Vin playing George Clooney if Clooney was unable to speak properly.
Yes the plot is obvious and no I don't remember a thing from the other 4 movies, aside from the awesome truck heist from the opening of Fast 4, but it's enjoyable all the same. OK action scenes, fun car chases that don't include explosions (that I can remember) a whole bunch of truly absurd things happening and The Rock stealing the show.
Whatever happened to Vin Diesel? I swear he used to act occasionally, speak words and stuff. This movie would never have happened if it wasn't for his performance in the original movie not to mention how cool Pitch Black was and how not bad xXx is. He is no longer somebody I particularly care about seeing in an action movie after this however as he can barely grunt and at one point he tries to smile whilst taking a sip of beer. Bad move Vin. If his inability to act is troubling the fact that he now looks quite similar to That Yellow Bastard from Sin City is downright scary.
I love watching Dwayne Johnson in movies. Personally I think he has some real talent and a massive amount of potential if he can find the right roles. In Fast Five he steals the show completely. His ridiculous beard was obviously required so you could differentiate the two muscly bald guys fighting each other but other than that he is on a whole other level to Diesel.
The franchise now belongs to Dwayne Johnson, if he doesn't kick Vin's ass once and for all then I'm not sure I can be excited for Fast 7. This movie knows exactly what it is and delivers exactly what was expected, nothing more and nothing less.
So that's my first attempt at writing about something I can't take seriously, my first admission of having a dirty little secret, my guilty pleasure is here for the whole world to see. Feel free to criticise in the blahs.
